Finding My Voice Again.

I was Triggered By My Guitar

I used to make music all the time in church. I wrote songs. I led worship. I even recorded a worship album that (believe it or not) people actually liked.

But when I left the church… I put my guitar away. It’s just been sitting there, gathering dust, like a relic from a past life.

I wondered why. Is it trauma? Trigger? Grief? Maybe it’s all of the above.

That guitar represents a version of me who was so sure, who felt deeply connected, deeply moved. It wasn’t just music. It was everything.

And somewhere deep inside, I’ve believed that nothing I write now, no love song, no lyric, no melody, could ever move me in the same way. That it wouldn’t be “good enough.”

Not spiritually. Not musically. Not emotionally.

I was raised in a world where sacred and secular were two very different things. Worship music was holy. Love songs? Just noise. And even though my deconstruction has changed my theology, even though I now believe everything is spiritual, our bodies, our identities, our relationships… I hadn’t applied that to music. Not yet.

But now? I have.

I’m still finding part of myself after deconstruction. And part of that is the fact that I have picked up my guitar again. I’m even finding the courage to share the songs I’ve written. They are worship songs… or spiritual songs… but they are a part of my story, my heritage, my lineage, and they deserve to be heard.

Would you be interested in hearing some of it? You can listen to them on Spotify. A glimpse into another part of me that I feel like I’m ready to share again.

I hope this can encourage you to do something you’ve been too scared to do. I hope you find your courage!

Much love,

David

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